SOMEWHERE INTERESTING – This is where there could have been a grand and detailed introduction. The writer of this article could have made mention of interesting people, places and things such as; The Galapagos Islands, The God Particle, George Carlin, and Tammy Faye Baker. The writer could have captured your attention and imagination with such a wonderful introduction but instead he just blew it. This is also where we could have asked you to continue reading…
“Someone could have even made an interesting quote here.” Said a friend of the article writer as the article writer was writing the article. “You could have had someone Interesting saying all kinds of interesting things.”
“You could have written an opinion article, or even interviewed the local Boy Scouts troop.” The article writer’s friend added. “Hell, you could have even ordered a pizza and interviewed the pizza delivery driver. You could have gone down town and did an amazing investigative journalism piece on meth whores. You could have even interviewed a local scientist on the latest scientific discoveries. Dude, you could have even made an article about how 51% of American citizens are now in favor of gay marriage. Stop smoking blunts and start writing your interesting articles now or boogerhook.com is going to shit-can your ass!”
The Article writer’s friend is right. Interesting articles can be difficult to write, and this article writer is well aware of the lack of appreciation some people may have about an interesting and well written article.
“Perhaps you could have written an article on wine cork collecting? That would have been interesting.” The article writer’s neighbor said. “Some people are interested in wine, and corks are groovy. It’s like they are made of wood or something, but they are soft like a sponge. Wine corks would have been an interesting topic that you could have written an interesting article about.”
This could have even been an interesting one liner to transition from one interview quotation to another.
“Just make something up.” The article writer’s stoner buddy said as he took a fat bong hit. “You could have made like an article about how we are all just one collective consciousness viewing life through individual perceptions. *cough* It’s like we are all just one person living in like a shit ton of individual bodies and shit. *cough, cough* Or how smoking weed cures cancer and stuff. *cough, cough* Dude, you could have even written about the absurdist and existential dilemma played out through the red shirts on the original Star Trek series. *cough* That shit is deep man.”
Not everyone thinks that writing about Star Trek would have been interesting.
“Red Shirts are so cliche now.” A younger friend of the article writer said. “They are so old school and played out. You should write about modern stuff. You could have written an article about the ‘Breaking Bad’ series. That series was a damning commentary on the state of the for-profit health care industry in America and its effects on the working poor.”
This is where the article writer could have made an outro or even perhaps an interesting outro quote from someone interesting. The article writer could have even put a snappy little one liner with a punch line here. Regardless, the article writer has clearly dropped the ball this week.